Wednesday 18 January 2012

I AM A MALAYALI...........DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Now!!! This is coming from a  conversation I had with a certain someone who thinks that all Malayalis on this planet should be exterminated!! Weellll...................obviously...I had to do something...soooo here I am, back to you lovely people!!!

And let me get one thing straight, its not mallu or mall or malli, its Ma-la-ya-li, learn to say that first!

We are a simple race, known for our big eyes and lustrous black hair, atrocious accented english(in some cases) and breeding abilities. I mean, name one corner on this big planet that we have not rooted ourselves, be it the US, UK....Australia...and the Gulf?? Dude! Its mini Kerala out there! Our banana chips are practically a cult AND everyone dies to get a taste of our meen curry!! And ladies, your John Abraham is half Malayali. ;)

I have been practically all over the country(folks are in the army) and have never seen any place yet being untouched by the malayali culture. My mother is usually plagued with offers to get the Kasavu saree, I am stalked for chips and the non-Malayalis are more enthusiastic about Onam. So there....what more can I say? we rock!!

Yes, of course, I wont be so mahaan  and say we are almighty...we have our flaws.....here are some real irritating ones according to my sources. (so journalistic eh? :D)

First. Nosy. A typical Malayali will WANT to know whats going on, and WILL find out what's going on, and the way he goes about doing that is the problem. He may forget that in the process he is either making a fool out of himself or irritating the hell out of the other person.

Second. Loud. There is this tradition in some parts of Kerala where a new born baby is fed liquid gold diluted with water for a few weeks to make its voice more sonorous and clear(my mum unknowingly gave me an overdose for a month!). So, there. But I do agree, it is annoying. I, have the decibel of a bullhorn myself and have been told off by loads by my friends to bring down my pitch from the rafters. We do sing pretty well though, make good sopranos!!! XDXD

Now, this one I don't know what to say. Irritating. Really? I know that we are extremely loyal friends and fiercely protective about whom we care. Maybe that is irritating to some lame asses. Sorry, but come on, you have issues with someone for being close to you? Get a life!

And what is the problem if we like to be with our own kind and jabber in Malayalam? Grow up! Its something chemical that we have no control over. We might not speak in Malayalam with our parents back home, but the pleasure of speaking(even broken) Malayalam to a friend is something you have no idea of! Why should it irritate you if we speak in our mother tongue? We can always teach you if you want! (but watching u guys go ape trying to decipher what the hell we are saying is ambrosia!)  So people, back off! And speak in frigging Swahili to spite us, I don't care, but don't tell us to shut up! Coz we wont. and hey!! You learn so many popular abuses from these conversations of ours man, thendi, patti(most popular), poda patti, naayi, chette.....plenty more where that comes from.

We work hard to get what we want and even though we don't get it easily, we get it. And if some people think that is being selfish...go take a hike!  A Malayali friend is a treasure, we go out of our way to ensure that our friends are happy and safe, and we never switch loyalties...I know... it sounds like I am describing a dog but its true! We believe in whatever you say, that does not mean gullible, but our trust in you. And our sense of humor... name one Malayali who has not kept you in splits till your stomach hurts. We can make the whole room go crazy in an instant. It's a gift and we are naturals at that!!!!!!!!!!

Soooooooo.............have I tweaked your brains even a tiny bit? I hope I have. Even though I go to my hometown just once a year, that too, for a couple of weeks and my accent is not Malayali enough, and I cant stand coconut oil in my food or hair, I am and always will be a proud Malayali forever!!!! :)


peace!!






11 comments:

  1. I am a Malayali...I wear a pink lungi.....I'm a card holding member of the Marxist party!!!!!!!!!! XDXDXD

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  2. I'm a pseudo Malayali. Why? I love the food and the accents and Onam. The aforementioned enthusiastic individuals who love everything Malayali.

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  3. Nice one! :D Return of the Mallu oops Malyali

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  4. peace out...well said my ma-la-ya-li dost..

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  5. Found your blog through another blog and I immediately sensed humor and mischief radiating from this one, so here I am!

    I'm not a Malayali but I have quite a few Malayali friends and I love them to bits. And their moms love me as well because I'm all for gorging everything they make and as often as they would feed me. Granted, my pronunciation of those dishes is atrocious, but who cares as long as the food is yummy and is devoured heartily and with great appreciation. :)

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